Adopting a child is not an easy decision. At the same time, developing a good bond and rapport is also a gradual process. One thing that plays a major role is the age of the child. But, parents also need to remember that the child wants love, care and affection. If the child gets them, it makes it easier for both the child and parents to come together. Dr Sona Kakkar, MD, psychiatry, Talktime Clinics, gives some tips on how both parents and child can make this journey fruitful.
Preparation of acceptance
Dr Sona Kakkar says that this is one of the important steps in the journey. She says that it becomes very important because there are two different people from two different environments. Sona shares that both of them should be prepared to accept the reality of life. “It is the mother who should be more prepared because she is more mature to do it,” says Sona. She mentions that some children might have some issues as well and at this point acceptance becomes really important.
Sharing of emotions
“It is important to let the child express and share his/her emotions,” says Dr Sona. She shares that this will help both the parent and child to bond well. “The more they share, the more it becomes easier for them to bond,” she adds. Sona mentions that it is also important to accept the past of the child and let them talk about it. “We cannot deny the fact that the child had a past and a different life,” she shares.
Dr Sona says that both parent and child should work on their relationship. “The child and the mother should not live in a fantasy world,” she shares. Recalling an incident, Dr Sona mentions that in early 2000 a Finnish lady adopted a child from India who struggled with identity crisis. “Each year, they would travel to India and visit her original place of birth to find the mother, but the struggle was painful and continued to be one,” she adds. Sona shares that this happens because of the differences in appearance, culture and language. “It is important to understand that they are not biological child and parent but share great love and care nevertheless,” she concludes.