Coping with a break-up amid social distancing

Being isolated in lockdown multiplies breakup stress levels by a thousand

By Author  |  Published: 29th May 2020  6:11 pm

New Delhi: There is no right time for break-up and we guess there will never be one. Throw in an invisible potentially fatal virus that is spreading at an expeditious rate globally, lost jobs or work-from-home shifts, economic uncertainty, being isolated in lockdown, worrying about daily essentials, and the normal breakup stress level multiplies by a thousand.

Beejal Gosai Psychologist, Mpower – Cell lists what one going through a breakup should expect and how to cope during this unparalleled time. Difficulty in letting go This is the most difficult step that comes with any normal breakup – be it holding on to the person or memories.

In these times when we are forced to isolate ourselves from the outside world to add on to that woes of a lost relationship, are bound to make one feel lonelier than ever. We may tend to hold on to the memories that we created with a person more than ever which may help us feel less lonely. It is important to know what you deserve and who you want to become from the lessons learned in this relationship. Focus on building a relationship with yourself.

Firstly, feel your feelings. Please allow yourself to grieve. You will grieve the person you once were, the person who was less heavy with this kind of feeling. You will grieve the future and the memories that you had thought you would make with them by your side. You are allowed to grieve loss of your relationship you once had. So accept it and allow yourself to feel the hurt, pain and in certain cases also the feeling of being wronged.

Let this situation sink in. When in a relationship, we often tend to be dependent on our partner or at some point in time, his or her presence helps us regulate our emotions or help us manage our lives in a more organized way and when that person is gone, it is very difficult to come into terms with the reality. After the initial pain and shock subsides, it is important to try and put things into perspective. It is important to ponder over the lessons you learned from this relationship and to also take care of your emotions which are probably all over the place at the moment.

The last thing that you would want to do post break up is overthink. Don’t overthink about things like what if your old flame gets a partner and you don’t? After breakup, it’s highly possible that you will think, rethink, rewind, replay, analyze and dissect past moments. Do not get trapped in questioning yourself ‘what-ifs’ in your head. That is a vicious cycle and will just led you in spiral downward cycle.