“I was in a six-month-long relationship with a man I loved truly and thought of even marrying him. But, one day, we had an argument after which I didn’t hear from him for weeks. He wouldn’t return my calls, messages or talk to me even in person. He slammed the door on my face when I went to his home to explain myself. He literally ghosted me,” says Zoya, a freelance photographer.
Zoya’s story sounds familiar? Last year, we saw the phase of ‘ghosting’ becoming a common dating situation. It basically means when a person you are dating, or dated, disappears without any explanation — never to come back! It’s frustrating because the person at the receiving end is clueless as to what’s happening and confused if s/he should even move on.
If you thought ghosting is another level of being insensitive, then 2018’s trending dating term called ‘orbiting’ is even more annoying and creepy.
Orbiting is when the person who once ghosted you comes around in your life through social media. S/he may not answer your continuous calls, but they like, poke, or comment on your Facebook account. They may see your stories, even retweet your tweets, but would never drop in to say ‘hi’. It’s torturous, right?
Why would s/he orbit or ghost?
We got in touch with a few Hyderabadis to see if they have gone through such situations. “I have a couple of times ghosted and orbited a few people. It wasn’t done intentionally, I just wanted to keep my options open,” says Varun, a student.
On the other hand, Alan, another student, says, “I used to talk to a few girls from Portugal; I met them through a film study Facebook group. I ended up ghosting all of them, not for any silly reasons but because I found someone I loved and wanted to end the flirting game.”
Know the trends and be careful
Such mindless acts, which for some can be ‘fun’, can actually make someone feel less loved and push them into depression. “I struggled for like a week to understand why would someone do that to me. Walking away without even thinking twice was devastating,” says Zoya.
It’s important to realise when someone takes you for granted and when you should step out. At the same time, if it’s someone who actively is orbiting you on social media, you can take them to the ‘block button’. Also, these kinds of situations are often prone to happen to people who access online dating platform. So, be cautious!
Know more about different dating trends, so that you will know what exactly is happening when you are seeing someone.
The dating glossary
Breadcrumbing: It’s more like the occasional flirty texting, which will not go more than that.
Zombieing: When one of the partners or both put in effortd to revive a relationship that was dead.
Tuning: It’s the first stage that comes before flirting and dating. It involves the act of buttering someone up online casually, but with an intention to take things forward.
Benching: If someone isn’t looking for a serious relationship, but also doesn’t want to let go of you, s/he does things to keep you close — it is called benching.
Cushioning: Cushioning also known as layby is when someone in a serious relationship benches on his/her partner.
Cuffing season: It’s called a cuffing season when someone who is single suddenly feels lonely and wants to be cuffed to a partner, especially during winter. -Source: Internet