Big fat Indian wedding or an intimate affair?

Millenials speak out as they try to understand the pros and cons of a big fat Indian wedding and an intimate affair

By Author  |  Published: 1st Dec 2019  12:22 amUpdated: 30th Nov 2019  7:47 pm

The wedding season is almost around the corner with the couples taking note of themes and customisations to make their big day a dreamy one and extra special. While some are opting for a big fat wedding, others prefer a more affordable and intimate wedding.

Indians are famous for big fat weddings that generally last for at least a week. A hundred different cuisines to gorge on, photographers in every nook and cranny and a horde of curious relatives gossiping like there’s no tomorrow are, of course, super fun but then there are plenty of couples saying no to a lavish wedding.

While some say marriage is a one-time affair and has to be memorable (read showy), others say squandering a whopping amount for a wedding is of no good. And, it is not questionable because different people have different perspectives.

A private affair

“Marriage between two individuals is a private affair. The people who are quite close to the individuals intending to get married maybe informed. I do not support the idea of a ceremony at all. To me, it is just a union of two well-informed individuals willing to spend the rest of their lives with each other. And such a union neither needs the approval nor the kind of celebration that mass media and the socio-economic culture promotes,” says Chukka Vishwavaram.

“My husband and I just took a house and moved in. We bought everything later and informed those close to us. We cared less and did not bother about what anyone thought about our union,” she adds.

There are a lot of young couples in India who dared to fight stigmas and break stereotypes. They seem to prefer to secure their future with the money they would’ve spent on the wedding or take any other steps they think are better.

Also, some people have a celebration, but on a low-key scale. Back in 2016, a Mumbai couple Shasvathi Siva and Karthik Krishnan made headlines after they opted for a vegan and eco-friendly ceremony. They made as little use of plastic as possible. There are couples who donated the whopping amount to orphans, differently-abled people, children in need of education and farmers.

“I feel weddings should be an intimate affair. It makes the experience more unique and avoids arbitrary customs and people. Intimate weddings have more character and personal touch and save you a bucket load of money,” says Pranita Sandela.

Sticking to customs & rituals

Numerous conservative families in the country do not believe in intimate weddings, which further pushes youngsters to have a showy wedding. Middle and working-class parents often save money for years to make their children’s wedding a grand event.

“I prefer an intimate wedding with close friends and family. But it’s not possible. A big fat Indian wedding with over 1,000 people is what will happen. You have to respect your parents’ wishes. So I’ll just opt for a traditional Telugu wedding ceremony without going for mehendi, sangeet, baarat and all that,” says Bindu Reddy.

Carrying out marriage rituals has now become a status symbol to some extent. “Most of the Indian parents are influenced by other people’s grand weddings leading them to spend their hard-earned money for marriage to meet the requirements of the societal pressure. They consider that as one of the life goals to be achieved,” says Shiva Thrishul.

“I prefer to have a simple traditional Telugu wedding with family, relatives, and friends. But again, my father will never accept for a simple wedding since I am the eldest daughter. Also because of society pressure and expectations! But, if I get a chance to choose, I would go with a simple wedding and I would put rest of the amount in an FD; at least that way I can have a secured future,” says Shivani Gyadari.

Once-in-a-lifetime event

According to a survey conducted by WeddingWire India, most couples from metro cities have seven or more events and rituals before wedding. Surprisingly, some couples are typically getting influenced by celebrity weddings.

One-fourth of engaged couples in India will go up to 30 per cent over their budget to ensure their wedding will be no less than a celebrity wedding and look good on social media platforms, according to the National Wedding Survey. And, now you might’ve figured out why the Indian wedding industry is the second largest in the world with a total value of over Rs 5,000 crore.

“Marriage is once-in-a-lifetime event and it’s very special for you, and with all the grandeur it becomes more memorable and eventful. With happiness all around, what more can you ask for,” says Upendra Sangam. A lot of millennials feel the same.

Destination weddings

The concept of a destination wedding is getting popular across the country with people spending almost a third of their life savings on a big day. Reportedly the Indian destination wedding industry is expected to reach Rs 45,000 crore by 2020. The booming economy and glitzy celebrity weddings are influencing people’s views of marriage.


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