How to know when your child is phone-ready and manage it
Parents need to be aware of the concerns about children's well-being around technology, including potential harms to mental health, if they are exposed to inappropriate content, bullying or simply use the phone too much
Hyderabad: Parents often have difficulty in deciding when to give their children their first smartphone. Safety concerns, particularly around travel to and from school, or being home after school without a parent, often drive this decision. And the pressure increases if their child’s friends already own a phone.
Parents need to be aware of the concerns about children’s well-being around technology, including potential harms to mental health, if they are exposed to inappropriate content, bullying or simply use the phone too much.
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Studies also show it can lead to dependence on the phone and distraction or lack of focus at school and in general. So it’s important to make good choices and provide family support alongside this. Appropriate phone ownership does not necessarily depend on a child’s age but on a child’s readiness and family circumstances.
Recent studies show children who receive phones based on readiness rather than age show better long-term digital habits. These include managing the constant distraction of phones and good judgment around the content they regularly browse and engage with.
Is the child ready?
Ask yourself these questions first…
- How responsible are they with the technology they already use?
- Do they follow family guidelines around screen time?
- How willing are they to discuss their online experiences with you?
- Do they come to you if there is a problem or something they don’t understand?
- Do they have a basic understanding of digital privacy and security?
- What’s their decision-making like offline?
- What are they like with family, friends and other responsibilities?
Non-phone options
Your child don’t necessarily have to go straight to a smartphone with all the bells, whistles and apps. Initially, a basic phone can allow your child to receive and make calls and texts, but without accessing the internet.
If you want to prioritise social connection (so a child isn’t left out with friends), you could might start with a shared family tablet featuring supervised messaging apps. This allows children to maintain friendships within set boundaries.
How to manage the transition
Here, parents and the child can discuss and review common challenges such as managing notifications, apps the child is permitted to use and where the phone can be used. This approach acknowledges full smartphone access isn’t an immediate necessity but rather the final stage in a thoughtful digital progression.
Research indicates families who implement this graduated approach report fewer conflicts around technology as well as better long-term digital habits in their children.
3 ‘phone’ conversations to have
Even though many schools now have phone restrictions during school hours, planning for healthy use outside of school is extremely important. There are three vital “new phone” conversations to have with your child, to make sure things get off to the right start.
- Friend requests: These can be over the top and often overwhelm children and parents. You do not have to say yes to all of them. Decide how to manage the continuous stream of requests and how to cull unnecessary contacts.
- Screen time: There will likely be a “screen-time spike” when your child gets their own device. This is exacerbated by the constant temptation to just zone out and browse content. Decide together on workable “no-tech” times and zones in the home.
- Notifications: Because of multiple group chats and new friends, there will be never-ending pings and notifications. This will encourage even more screen time, sometimes well into the night. Go into the phone settings with your child and together decide which notifications to turn off (ideally, most of them). This will mean children have fewer distractions and more sleep, and the entire household will be more peaceful.
