Opinion: Art of speaking to yourself
Listen to your inner voice with awareness and compassion to cultivate an empowering mindset
By Viiveck Verma
In an age of unrelenting lifestyles and limitless isolation, one may feel alone very often and yet, from one crucial perspective, one is never alone. This is not a paradox if we think of the one sound we always hear, or cannot help hearing. Our inner voice is our constant companion, accompanying us through every moment of our multifaceted lives. The silent narrator of our thoughts, this voice shapes our perceptions, influences our emotions and guides our actions.
However, sometimes, this inner voice can spiral out of control and lead us to unfavourable destinations. Therefore, talking to this inner voice, and turning it into a powerful tool for self-reflection and personal growth, is an art, an art which may be seldom spoken of directly, but an art which can unlock a treasure trove of self-actualisation. Let us analyse.
The Importance
First of all, the importance of our inner voice cannot be overstated. It serves not merely as a mirror reflecting our self-image but also as a factor that profoundly impacts our self-esteem, confidence and overall well-being. It provides valuable insights into our beliefs, values and aspirations, allowing us to gain a deeper understanding of ourselves. At the same time, it becomes a conduit for our unspeakable fears and anxieties and allows for the processing of these unpleasant but universally experienced emotions. Therefore, by listening to our inner voice with awareness and compassion, we can identify limiting beliefs, overcome self-doubt, and cultivate a more positive and empowering mindset.
There is also a social dimension to this, as our inner voice plays a crucial role in our relationships with others. It influences how we communicate, empathise and connect with those around us. By nurturing a positive and compassionate inner dialogue, we can enhance our ability to relate to others with kindness, empathy and understanding. Furthermore, our inner voice guides our goal-setting process and shapes our belief in our ability to achieve those goals.
When our inner voice is supportive and optimistic, it fuels our motivation and determination to pursue challenging goals. By celebrating our successes, learning from setbacks, and maintaining a positive outlook, our inner voice reinforces our confidence in our capacities to achieve our aspirations.
Therefore, your inner voice is a powerful tool that holds the relevance to make or break things. Consequently, mastering the art of speaking to yourself positively and constructively is significant. One has to begin by understanding one’s inner voice. To put it simply, your inner voice is the constant stream of thoughts, beliefs and self-talk that accompanies you throughout the day. It reflects your innermost feelings, fears, desires and insecurities. Understanding your inner voice, therefore, involves awareness, or paying attention to the tone, content and patterns of your thoughts. For example, you can take note of when your inner voice gets agitated and when it is relaxed and reflect upon it.
The Good Things
The next step is to use the knowledge attained by understanding your inner voice to maximise the good things and minimise the bad things. For example, if your inner voice becomes frantic around figures of authority, you must consciously and decidedly ensure that your inner voice remains calm the next time you encounter such entities. This is exemplified by and linked to positive self-talk, which involves replacing negative, self-defeating thoughts with uplifting and empowering ones. For example, instead of saying, “I’ll never be good enough,” you can reframe it as “I am capable of learning.” By consciously choosing positive affirmations and controlling your inner voice through them, you can rewire your brain to focus on opportunities rather than obstacles.
Beyond this, another major necessity is cultivating self-compassion. Self-compassion, when defined in uncomplicated terms, involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend facing difficulties. Instead of criticising yourself harshly for perceived failures or shortcomings, practice self-compassion by acknowledging your humanity and embracing imperfection. For example, instead of letting your inner voice berate you for making a mistake at work, remind yourself that everyone makes errors, and it’s an opportunity to learn and improve.
On a related note, many of the negative thoughts that arise from your inner voice stem from limiting beliefs – deeply ingrained assumptions about yourself and the world around you. Challenging these limiting beliefs is, therefore, crucial and will involve questioning their validity and replacing them with more empowering perspectives. For example, a limiting belief would be a strong sense of inadequacy which you can replace with the belief that your hard work will take you places.
Mindfulness is Key
It is important to also note that thoughts are untameable and can very often be random or intrusive. This is why, to make your inner voice your ally, mindfulness is key. Mindfulness involves being, in the most alert way, present in the current moment and observing your thoughts and emotions objectively. By cultivating mindfulness, you can gain distance from negative self-talk and choose how to respond to it consciously. For instance, when negative thoughts arise, observe them without getting caught up in them.
Finally, the people you surround yourself with and the content you consume can significantly impact the tone of your inner voice. Surround yourself with supportive, positive individuals who uplift and inspire you. You must, particularly in the long run, curate your environment to include uplifting books, podcasts and media that reinforce positive self-talk.
In essence, our inner voice is a constant companion and guide on our journey through life. By recognising its importance and harnessing its power, we can cultivate a greater sense of self-awareness, resilience, and fulfilment. By mastering the art of speaking to yourself positively, cultivating self-compassion, challenging limiting beliefs, practising mindfulness, and surrounding yourself with positive influences, you can harness the transformative power of your inner dialogue to create a life filled with confidence, resilience and fulfilment. After all, there is no better ally than one’s own self. It is time! Embrace the journey of self-discovery and self-empowerment, and unleash the true potential of your inner voice.
(The author is Founder & CEO, Upsurge Global, Advisor & Adjunct Professor, EThames College, and Strategic Advisor and Venture Partner, SilverNeedle Ventures)
